I can't believe that it was almost a year ago since my last entry. I started this blog when I was lost and depressed and sad and lonely...
I can't remember the last time I read my entries. I just can't to do it. I guess I'm still scared to go back to that moment when I lost you.
However, Today as I celebrate your Birthday I am at Peace. I am Happy... Happier :)
I still feel that little tug in my heart from time to time... I guess I will always have that kind of feeling whenever I think of you. As always I breathe in and out and Thank God for that chance of having you even for just a moment. It turned my world upside down... But sure is worth the ride.
There are times that I feel guilty that I don't cry as much as before when I think of you... and sometimes I don't cry at all or don't feel the need to visit you all the time. Then I realized that my heart is finally free from all the questions and doubts and hate and pain... Thank you... You're a big part of who I am today.
When I think of that Rainy Sunday Morning... the physical pain... my heart breaking into tiny pieces and that first and last glimpse of you... my fingers touching your face... I know that a part of me died. I felt a hole in my heart. I felt there's nothing for me. But guess what baby to my surprise I was Reborn and everyday I remind myself that I am Lucky... you are one unselfish Angel and your my Guardian Angel.
I still have that hole in my heart. I don't think there's anyone that can ever fill that hole that you left but one things for sure it is slowly and surely healing each day.
Today you turned 2. I know you're Happy. And I know you watch over me every single day. I love you. And like last year we're gonna make a lot of kids happy. This Month is for you!
Happy Birthday my Dear Gwyneth Harmony. I love you. Blowing you a kiss Baby... and I need one back :) I miss you.
Happy 2nd Birthday!
Love Forever,
Mommy
