From Baby with Love.

Gerald told me the other day one amazing story that until now I can't get over with. As he was walking along a pathway a brown butterfly kept flying towards his direction. He stopped and watched. The butterfly moved past him and went straight to a white shoebox, a small one lying around the corner. He got curious and took a step near the box. He looked inside it and couldn't believe what he saw. He saw my name engraved on the shoebox in different colors, the same font of the henna tattoo of his name I got on my back when we were in Puerto Galera 4 yrs ago. 

He said that he was reminded of how colorful life is with me. 

This story will be kept locked in my heart forever. I love you Gwen.

2nd month in Heaven

I can honestly say that I am no longer that miserable of a Mother compared as before. It's Gwen's 2nd month in heaven and I am smiling from ear to ear knowing that she is up there having the time of her angel life. I'm not saying that I don't miss her no more or I don't long for her... but today I felt that I have finally accepted that she was made for heaven. 

I've been through hell and back for the past few days. During those times I felt that my heart would stop beating because of the amount of pain that I felt. But during those times my baby girl showed me how she is watching me all this time. 

It is hard to explain nor write about how amazing God is and how my little angel being His sidekick. I then realized it is ok to feel all the pain. That it is okay to be weak. Because when I felt all that and acknowledge it I suddenly felt empowered and never felt stronger.

True that it is hard to ignore the ache inside my heart... but then again it is also hard to ignore the strength that it is giving me. This must be confusing to some but for me it is what I'm feeling.

Today, I am extra happy. It is her 2nd month. For sure my daughter is having a blast. I wonder if they have cakes and cupcakes up there. =)

Gwen, thank you. You freed me from the pain of losing you because you showed me that you are watching over me all this time. I love you my baby angel.

My Harmony

I know your nothing but an angel. Sorry if I questioned you. Thank you, You have always been there for me. I am in deep... the deepest. The most painful one. But I know and believe that you and God will never leave.