My not so planned vacation is about to go to an end. Tomorrow I will go back to my Manila life. As scary as it can be knowing that I will see familiar places and things that would bring back too much emotion... I know this time that I'm ready.
Going home to Davao and being with my Mom & Sis and seeing friends from way back has helped me a lot. Crying on my Mom's shoulder made me feel so loved and even though the pain remains my Mom's words are music to my ears and gives me strength to go on with my life.
Also one of the things that I'm really thankful of is being able to reconnect with my younger sister. Although we don't see eye to eye that often I can feel the love and support that she has for me. No need for too many words, her being there and giving me the chance to be her "ate" again is enough for me to feel what "blood is thicker than water" really means.
Today as I finish packing my stuff I can't help but feel sad. It's really hard for me to leave again. Sometimes I wonder what if I would just stay in Davao? It's a very nice place to live in. But then again I have a life to get back to in Manila. Instead of feeling sad and thinking of ways to meet both ends I'm leaving it up to God. I know He has plans for all of us. I don't want to spend my last day thinking about stuff that I can't control or can't resolve at this time. I promise myself that I will not let another year pass without coming over to visit. I promise to always keep in touch specially with my sister.
After this really amazing vacation with my family I can now say that somehow my heart isn't that heavy than usual since that day my daughter passed. With God and my Daughter to guard me ... I am ready to move forward.
