Gwyneth Harmony... Born in Heaven

Our first born Gwen whom we've waited patiently for 9 months passed away July 10 this year. 

It was a rainy Sunday morning. I felt the pain in my tummy and asked my boyfriend to bring me to the hospital. Before leaving the house I folded all her clothes. Clothes that she will use once she is born.

I can no longer write the whole thing...it still pains me. Seems that it was just yesterday. To be honest I don't even want to remember how painful that day was. The Doctor announced that there's no heartbeat... I went to the delievery room and waited for that moment that I can let her be free from my womb. That time I still prayed for miracle... but my baby was destined to go straight to heaven.

Everything was a blur. I woke up and realized she's really gone. I was heartbroken. I looked at Gerald's eyes and I can see the same pain. We lost her. Our daughter whom we can't wait to hold and to kiss. We didnt even see her eyes. Until now we wonder where she got her eyes. I long for her everyday. I love her so much. 

For weeks I listened to great advice from family and friends. Stories of the same kind. Encouraging words. But the pain still remains. I am forever changed. 

The past few weeks I was able to find support groups for parents who also lost a child by stillbirth, miscarriage,or death of any kind. I realized that were not the only young couple who have experienced this. Reading other peoples story gave me hope that despite all this there is hope to live again...to feel alive again.

I am not in a hurry to get better but I am doing my best every single day. I respect my feelings and feel each pain whenever my heart tells me. I pray to God everyday. Read verses and quotes that can help me heal. I am now empowered by God's words and promises and I Thank the Lord for He has held my hand since that very day. I may not understand and see what He means by all this yet but I believe that He will take care of my broken heart. That one day I will be as good as new.