I can honestly say that I am no longer that miserable of a Mother compared as before. It's Gwen's 2nd month in heaven and I am smiling from ear to ear knowing that she is up there having the time of her angel life. I'm not saying that I don't miss her no more or I don't long for her... but today I felt that I have finally accepted that she was made for heaven.
I've been through hell and back for the past few days. During those times I felt that my heart would stop beating because of the amount of pain that I felt. But during those times my baby girl showed me how she is watching me all this time.
It is hard to explain nor write about how amazing God is and how my little angel being His sidekick. I then realized it is ok to feel all the pain. That it is okay to be weak. Because when I felt all that and acknowledge it I suddenly felt empowered and never felt stronger.
True that it is hard to ignore the ache inside my heart... but then again it is also hard to ignore the strength that it is giving me. This must be confusing to some but for me it is what I'm feeling.
Today, I am extra happy. It is her 2nd month. For sure my daughter is having a blast. I wonder if they have cakes and cupcakes up there. =)
Gwen, thank you. You freed me from the pain of losing you because you showed me that you are watching over me all this time. I love you my baby angel.
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