Not really counting but my guess is it's almost 2 months now. Some says I look happy but my eyes looked sad. Some says wow you recovered fast! How did that happen?
Until now I'm still amazed to what I have become or how did I got back to my old self after that roller coaster ride.
There are days that I get so sad thinking about the plans made before Gwen and how promising it was. At the same time I find it amazing how your life can turn 360 degrees in a blink of an eye.
Validation from friends who saw me at my worst and now says I am getting better and better everyday makes me strive hard to move forward and to not look back as much as possible.
I thought at first that my heart will turn into stone and I'd be this angry woman who would hate the world. But guess what I am still that loving and passionate woman that I've always been. I've learned to accept the things that I could not control. I learned to forgive. I learned to live despite all the sadness and madness of the world. I realized all this pain are things that would make me stronger and better for that next chapter of my life.
I love it that I'm reunited with old friends. I love that I'm able to connect with people that I thought that I wouldn't be friends with. I love the chance to have this great relationship with myself. No more self doubt, no more feeling useless or not enough. I look at the mirror now and I get to smile and tell myself that I'm worth it, I am beautiful =) and the best is yet to come!
Sadness will always be around the corner but I no longer fear to bump into that at any given time.
I will always make sure to wear that killer smile... to laugh hard, to work hard and party harder =) Be a good daughter, sister and a friend... to inspire someone with my stories and how I got through it.
Until now I'm still amazed to what I have become or how did I got back to my old self after that roller coaster ride.
There are days that I get so sad thinking about the plans made before Gwen and how promising it was. At the same time I find it amazing how your life can turn 360 degrees in a blink of an eye.
Validation from friends who saw me at my worst and now says I am getting better and better everyday makes me strive hard to move forward and to not look back as much as possible.
I thought at first that my heart will turn into stone and I'd be this angry woman who would hate the world. But guess what I am still that loving and passionate woman that I've always been. I've learned to accept the things that I could not control. I learned to forgive. I learned to live despite all the sadness and madness of the world. I realized all this pain are things that would make me stronger and better for that next chapter of my life.
I love it that I'm reunited with old friends. I love that I'm able to connect with people that I thought that I wouldn't be friends with. I love the chance to have this great relationship with myself. No more self doubt, no more feeling useless or not enough. I look at the mirror now and I get to smile and tell myself that I'm worth it, I am beautiful =) and the best is yet to come!
Sadness will always be around the corner but I no longer fear to bump into that at any given time.
I will always make sure to wear that killer smile... to laugh hard, to work hard and party harder =) Be a good daughter, sister and a friend... to inspire someone with my stories and how I got through it.
Most of all to always put God in the center and find peace that my Prayers will be delivered through my Special Angel Gwen.
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