Dear Gwen,

It's been a year now. I still hurt. But don't worry I fight everyday to stay alive. I miss you and still long for you almost everyday. I still can't hide the fact that I wonder from time to time how it's like having you around. But come to think of it you never left my side. You've been guarding me all this time and for that I am Thankful.

I thank God for the experience. That time when I felt every move you make inside me was priceless. 

I thought I was going to breakdown today. But I was wrong. I was reminded that I stopped being a victim a long time ago. This morning I woke up and was Thankful for all the good and bad stuff. I was reminded that I grew stronger. This whole year made me appreciate life even more. I remembered Mom & Sis, they've nothing but understanding towards me. I was grateful for the friends who stayed with me and put up with my tears, laughter, and even my weirdness. I thought of the places I was able to visit. The adventures... The people I met along the way. And would you believe I have like 3 tattoos now!  You know I’ve always wanted one. I was able to do stuff that's new to me and stuff that I've always wanted to do. I felt Reborn. 

It's amazing. I'm still alive and better than ever.

I am forever changed by the experience. It's different how I see life now. Some would understand... some may not. Well they can Love me or Hate me... as long as I'm not stepping on someone's toe I believe that's fine.

Today I looked backed and I’m Thankful for that one hell of a roller coaster ride. I chose to scream and enjoy the ride! There’s more… but Hey I’m ready for it. I may stumble and fall but I know myself better now. I will definitely get up and move forward.

Thank you for your sacrifice Gwen. You’re one reason I’m living my 2^nd life now. I know you don't want me to suffer and to hurt even more… so I chose to be Happy, I owe it to you and to myself.

I cried my heart out earlier. I gave myself the chance to recall those memories and take it all in. It's amazing how strong I've become and able to hold myself together. I know you’re proud of me. I want you to be. But please be patient with Mommy... I am stubborn at times.

I Thank God for giving me a sweet guardian angel like you. I know that whenever I feel a tug in my heart it's you helping to ease the pain. I know that when a warm breeze touches my face, it's you blowing me a kiss. I screamed your name out the beach last week... I hope you heard it. I love you deeply. You are a big part of my life and who I've become now. You're memory brings me to tears... it's still painful but most of all it brings me peace... it gives me Hope. It strengthens my Faith in God.

Enjoy your day Baby. I'm sending you a big hug and big kiss with Love. I love you. I miss you.

Happy 1st Bday up there My beautiful Gwyneth Harmony.

Love,

Mommy